Nepali Wanderer

I vividly recall my question from that day. It was the final day of our 10-day Vipassana retreat, and we had the opportunity to ask our teacher anything related to meditation. I asked: “Is it compulsory to give up drinking to develop the habit of meditation?”  While he did not recommend drinking, he conveyed that the decision rested with the individual. So, I made my decision that day — to go with both — convinced that I could seamlessly integrate my newfound love for meditation with my lifelong affection for beer.

Beer has always held a special place in my heart, and I have even written about beer being the greatest invention of all time. It would always come up first in my imagination of ideal happy moments, be it on a warm, sunny beach or atop a mountain.

During the initial phase, I diligently practiced meditation daily, balancing it with my weekly beer indulgence. However, it didn’t take long for me to notice a negative correlation between the two. Each time I attempted meditation after a day of consuming alcohol, the experience became challenging. The one-hour session felt like an ordeal, a form of self-imposed punishment. Despite persisting in maintaining both practices, I eventually faced a harsh reality: I had to let go of one. And therein, I made the hard decision: I decided to break up with meditation.

I went back to my beer-infused life, rolling back into my old routine. But over time, something felt off. I could throw around words like “less aware” here, but it’s tough to put this subjective vibe shift into words. So, let’s put it this way: the overall feel-good score for the day took a nosedive. The more I rolled with it, the evident it became: it was time to reevaluate my initial decision.

And so, I made another difficult decision – this time, to break up with beer.

As it was the month of December, I found it easier to pick the date, and had my last beer on December 31st. A year or two prior, I could never have imagined giving up beer. Yet there I was, genuinely feeling happier and anticipating a fresh start. It was a valuable lesson: breaking up with a habit is easier when you’ve got something better waiting in the wings. (Obviously, if you look at the whole story from the angle of beer, it was a pure cold-hearted betrayal!)

Over a year has passed since I gave up drinking, and, for the “most” part, I have not felt the urge to go back. I added “most” because there were isolated instances when a slight urge crept in, usually during phases when I neglected meditation for 2-3 days. It was as if two separate selves resided within me, with one attempting to suppress the other. (Reinforcing my theory about the negative correlation). So now, I take my meditation practice even more seriously, ensuring that I do not miss a day.

Lastly, if you have noticed, I haven’t thrown in the health angle — not even once. All that preaching about how alcohol wrecks your health, this and that. That’s because I left alcohol primarily because of its impact on meditation. Plus, preaching about all that feels like taking cheap shots at your ex, which I could never do to someone I loved (make that love) so dearly: my beloved beer.